IC SPAM POST

[emulsify]

ic spam . leave a message, 75% chance of auto-reply

Comments

DM [5/22]

[philomathean]

You're bringing back Pub Quiz Nights!? What's the next theme? I need to prepare my costume.

DM [5/22]

[emulsify]

You have 10 seconds to be the hero the station needs and help me decide:

1. [REDACTED]: a highly confidential night of spy trivia
2. Friday Night Thighlights: sports done in tiny shorts trivia
3. A Night with the Stars: if it's past the mesosphere, we'll ask you about it

DM, 5/26

[imaginist]

Quite the performance today.

DM, 5/27

[loudon]

Congrats. You did great. Hope you're well.

dm 6/5

[beautyfull]

hiii! I haven't met you really yet I'm Crysta

did you really eat my
[...] Actually just did you kiss my...no
Is the only thing interesting about you your alleged pecs or?

DM [6/19] - evening

[counterfake]

Hey.

DM [6/19] - evening

[emulsify]

[...]

well here's a name and number I didn't expect to see again.

DM 6/30, during pride

[bwnedpronouncedboned]

is ok

DM 6/30, during pride

[emulsify]

restate in the form of a question plz

DM 7/3

[dorinlee]

Hi Parson! Just checking in. Are you a weremole after all?

DM 7/3

[emulsify]

went out in the moonshine and everything and not a single mole trait to be found.

dm 7/5, later in evening

[imaginist]

[ooc: immediately after this]

I'd like to talk to you. When are you free?

dm 7/5, later in evening

[emulsify]

iunno, i'll have to look

[...]

yeah, of course. free around lunchtime tomorrow. before 3 the rest of the weekend.

DM [7/6]

[stgermaine]

How valid is your promise for free drinks if one just so happened to seduce a certain overly tall visitor?

DM [7/6]

[emulsify]

very serious, man. anyone facing those alaskan salmon levels of post nut clarity deserves a weekend of free drinks. [...] did you?

DM, 7/8

[rainbowfish]

Hey. How are you holding up? S

Do you want to get drinks sometime? I'm

[...]

I heard you got ambushed by Waldingers.

DM, 7/8

[emulsify]

hey man, LITERALLY though. most stressful cobb salad I've ever eaten.

[...]

it's been a minute. holding up?

DM | 7/9

[counterfake]

Hey. What’s your professional opinion cost these days?

DM | 7/9

[emulsify]

am I being cited or do I get to be anonymous?

DM, 7/10

[imaginist]

In the interests of transparency, I should tell you that I've developed lie detection powers.

DM, 7/10

[emulsify]

oof, that sucks. how's that working out for you?

DM, 7/12

[imaginist]

I don't think your abilities are horrifying, actually.

DM, 7/12

[emulsify]

oh my god I've been community note-ed.

[buffdebuff]

What do you think about Star Trek?

[emulsify]

which one?

DM, 7/21

[imaginist]

Enjoying the sparkling pollen?

DM, 7/21

[emulsify]

someone upstairs is out on their balcony serenading [...] I think everyone within earshot. so yes. you?

dm 7/26 (post mission)

[beautyfull]

did u surviv
are you

did a mole or whatev eat u yet

dm 7/26 (post mission)

[emulsify]

sadly, no! but I did get an earful from a leech!

DM 7/27

[careersinsuperscience]

Hello, bonjour, I have returned, etc., etc., now to the important bits: how do we plan to celebrate your imminent birthday?

DM 7/27

[emulsify]

hold up hold up we've got some important ground to cover here. how many people threw their underwear at you while you were on tour? which city sucked the most? did you put anything ridiculous in your rider, and if not, why?

can I have one of those cakes with a person in it?

DM 8/1

[dorinlee]

Hey Parson. Another full moon today! That means I get to text you!

[...] Sorry. That's a joke. I'm not funny. And I'm kind of nervous so

[...] I was wondering if I could get your honest opinion on something?

DM 8/1

[emulsify]

going to make me start thinking you're a weretexter, Dorin.

consider me your mary berry. what do you need?

dm [8/1]

[philomathean]

Hello Soon To Be Birthday Boy. Just checking in to make sure that you have plans.

dm [8/1]

[emulsify]

I tasked Auggie with buying me one of those cakes that looks like a barbie dress with a barbie stuck in the top, but I don't really was gonna [..............] go out of probably just st work hang out at the bar.

left by parson's door on this the day of his birth

[beautyfull]

Crysta leaves in a little pink box just one more normal (not weed she didn't have any) cupcake with a barbie shoe on top. An equally pink attached note reads nothing, it's just a big pink heart sticker inside. It's a good cupcake at least. Happy birthday. Here is a Bit to make you paranoid.

Left at Parson's door, 8/4

[imaginist]

[A simple black box tied with a red ribbon, containing the illustrated The Lord of the Rings: Special Edition set. No note, no card, although someone clearly obsessed over centering the ribbon exactly and tying the bow so both sides are even and nestling the book in enough paper that it doesn't make too much noise when the box is shaken.

Frankly, Enoch has no idea if Parson would even like this and almost tossed it rather than acknowledge anyone's birthday, but fuck it, he already wrapped it, so this is Parson's burden now. (He does not wonder if the imprint in Parson's brain will know that this is a very Enoch thing to do.)]

dm 8/7

[beautyfull]

[Screenshot of this part of the convo]

SWINGERS PARTY

Re: dm 8/7

[emulsify]

omg!! in a hotel this time! they're rotating venues. do you think someone just got a pine needle in their butt last time or are they doing swingers parties themed around The Shining? can you ask him if everyone has to turn in their keys?? is that too obvious???

dm 8/10

[beautyfull]

hi r u dating yet
are you emotionally n mentally in a place to discuss dates hmm

[…] r you taking anyone to the restaurant thing

dm 8/10

[emulsify]

thought about making Raine come w me, but I'm pretty sure I'm a cooler friend if I let him dodge a party. [...] so, nah. why? trying to set me up w

DM, 8/17

[imaginist]

Would you ever want to get married?

DM, 8/17

[emulsify]

what Gavin and I weren't

[...] probably only if it were part of a madcap scheme to secure citizenship for a desperate, handsome stranger.

DM 8/17

[careersinsuperscience]

Thinking of sending the boys to Rhode Island for saltwater taffy. Want them to pick you up anything?

DM 8/17

[emulsify]

get them each to pick up the worst novelty beach t-shirt they can find. we can use them as consolation prizes at the bar, and it'll be a good look into their psyches.