emulsify | IC SPAM POST

ugh i was gonna see if you could distract them my friend wants to bring them to a party i'm doin (you're not invited bc it's zeke's bday and i only invited his friends and ppl he wouldn't have panic attacks around sry) but i'm gonna hate being in the same vicinity i can tell what kind of things do u think would tempt them to get them lost in the city forever

~~so it IS kinda a~~ aw romantic.

1. take them somewhere with tech or finance bros. they can't resist a misguided fight-n-fuck.

2. see if any local museums or galleries are doing a kitsch art night & direct them to that.

3. fake a spreadsheet emergency here at the station so they can't go.

they weren't LIES just comfortable hypotheses. anyway, it's a birthday thing for Zeke and we aren't invited because we aren't his friends and/or our presence would provoke cardiac distress.

it's sweet she likes him so much.

stop.

Ok but that's all so helpful thank you so much save all yr spreadsheets next friday i'm going to explode microsoft excel

Aha. I've independently confirmed this with Shannon, so the birthday story must be true.

He makes her art, and she has it all over her room.

I just calls em like I sees em. oh, you should maybe let Knock know your plans. I'm not entirely sure he's ruled out a surveillance mission yet.

wishing you all the luck in ditching the world's most intense person.

see? nothing to worry about! everyone should overspend on a 12-person binge weekend in a big 5 city at least once before they turn 30.

gay. I predict come january theyre going to be cohabitating-but-not-really without putting a name on it. good for them.

[...] wait i kinda figured he'd know by now lmao i did NOT tell anyone who could keep a secret

i can outtense them

Normally, I'd encourage it. But our parents cut her off. Temporarily, pending her obedience this Thanksgiving.

Would you care to wager on it? I think she's far too wary of being mocked by us to make a move like that.

oh he knows. ~~he just seems to be a much more direct intervention older brother than Gav ev~~ I'll detour him, if he comes to the conclusion that a stakeout is necessary.

don't allow anyone to seem like they need to be mothered within 20ft of Spirit. they can smell indecision. you'll never get rid of them, then.

I see.
would it be funny or too mean to like invite him separately and make him confess he’s been spyin on me to get out of it

k def don’t wanna think about spirit mommying […] rly actually anyone I am gonna dump them in a river stg

huh. ~~of course they are~~ ~~can't even wait a full year before losing another kid, can they?~~ [...] ~~they're never going to learn~~ ~~you both need to cut them o~~ ~~you two shouldn't have to deal with~~ [...] that's fucked.

not only will I bet on it, I also give her exactly 3 days of attempting to keep it totally a secret.

It'll be fine. We have a plan to handle them.

I accept. They both have exceedingly loud roommates; there is no way they can pull off a cohabitation situation with any sort of secrecy or grace.

you don't think he'd jump at the opportunity to Observe?

tell me about it, but I'm sure you can shake them.

Lmao he could NOT keep up at a party wkend with me and he knows it

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