I HOPE YOU'VE PASSED THROUGH THE VALLEY OF DARKNESS OF WRITING DEADLINE HELL!
Parson constantly being on a Do Something Cool in Jack's Peripheral grind is such an unwinnable situation for Jack because he's always going to be annoyed/infuriated/finally impressed (anfressiated... that's it precisely) no matter what happens. Parson can fall flat on his face and Jack's wretched and incredibly flawed thought process will transmute that failure into a win because Parson dared to try and Jack should have thought of attaching 50,000 balloons to a lawn chair first and Parson monopolized his attention anyway. Parson succeeding in being cool will be even worse, it goes without saying...
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Parson constantly being on a Do Something Cool in Jack's Peripheral grind is such an unwinnable situation for Jack because he's always going to be annoyed/infuriated/finally impressed (anfressiated... that's it precisely) no matter what happens. Parson can fall flat on his face and Jack's wretched and incredibly flawed thought process will transmute that failure into a win because Parson dared to try and Jack should have thought of attaching 50,000 balloons to a lawn chair first and Parson monopolized his attention anyway. Parson succeeding in being cool will be even worse, it goes without saying...
I found them again, by the way: